The Uselessness of Wackos

Wackos are NOT useless. They are human beings, just like the rest of us, if maybe slightly smellier.

The garbage they spew, however, whether it's on crudely xeroxed pamphlets or a crudely put-together web page - well, that's almost always useless. There is a minor chuckle factor at first, but then the sheer LENGTH of the spew becomes the REALLY amazing part.

Three great sources of weirdos are: Netology, Hyper-weirdness by Web, and The Kooks Museum. And yes, Yahoo now has their own Kooks page AND their own Bizarre page!

Note to people submitting to this page: to quote either Ambrose Bierce or someone else: "One man's religion is another man's belly-laugh." Therefore, I will not accept ANY religious or political pages here, unless they are PARTICULARLY kooky. To show you the lengths it would have to go to be here, for example, I would not consider Ross Perot wacky enough.

Also, this page should NOT be confused with our Uselessness of Fortune Telling page.

With that in mind, here are the religions that win the WACK-O-LYMPICS(tm):

Bronze Medal: Kibology
Folks who worship the ground He greps on

Silver Medal: Church of the SubGenius
Eternal salvation on TRIPLE your money back!

GOLD MEDAL: The Church of Scientology
Ask them about Xenu. They HATE that! (Hi, Vickie!)

(Note: ONE of the above is a "Joke" religion!)

And now, the rest of the kooks:

• The Ardamian Empire As good an argument against using heavy drugs when making your Home Page as any I've seen.
• Arielholics Anonymous People slavishly obsessed with a cartoon character. I would not want to be locked in the same room as them.
• Committee to Ban Dihydrogen Oxide I'm trying to keep political bias off of this page, but these people MUST be heard!
• Confessions of a 41-year-old Virgin From the award-winning folks who brought you "The Loser Living Upstairs". See? I told you...
• Cross the Vinyl Head This page gave me nightmares.
• Cynsa's list of things people have put up their butts (no comment)
• Decapitate an Angel At last! The answer to the question "How many pinheads can dance on the head of a angel?"
• Doctress Neutopia The most boring wacko on Usenet becomes the most boring wacko on The Web.
• Dream of ET That's it! I'm installing "Surfwatch!"
• Ghosts Under the Bed Someone is convinced there are ghosts under her bed, so she set up five - yes, FIVE cameras showing the world a real-time view of underneath her bed!
  This just in! Now she has cameras in her trunks (as in storage trunks, wise guy!) too!
• The Goat Shrine
• The Hazards of Staying on the Net For a luddite, he does a pretty good HTML.
• How to restore your foreskin Useless to at least 50% of the population
• How To Tell If Your Head's About To Blow Up
• Joan VS Microsoft It almost - ALMOST - makes one feel sorry for Bill Gates.
• Leeches on the Web Hey, what right does he have calling other people "leeches"?
• Linking Spheres Featuring several dimensions of uselessness
• Occult Sites You shouldn't make fun of other peoples' beliefs (unless they're really stupid).
• oo Perhaps the strangest page on the Web! And that's saying A LOT!
• A page written in Klingonese Captain, sensors detect a dangerous amount of nerdiness here!
• Particles from Star Trek Well, what do you THINK powers an Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
• The Piercing Gallery Making a piercing remark would be redundant...
• Proof of Subgenius Influence at Microsoft Insert your own "Bob" joke here.
• Roadkill and Poetry Is this guy desperate for an NEA grant, or what?
• Robot Wisdom Claiming to understand James Joyce is a pretty good definition of "Wacko"
• The Santa Conspiracy
• Some Rant about something or other. He's not crazy! Really! It's really every other person on the planet who is!
• Something about Fusion Someone order me this tape! Please!
• A snivel Alright, already! We forgive you! Now just SHUT UP!
• Stupid Undergrounds I think this was written by the same guy who writes those Dr. Bronner's labels
• An Underwear Survey What is this, "International E-male"?
• The Unibomber Manifesto He threatened that, unless I put him on The Useless Pages, he would force me to go to a Yanni concert.
• Vaporizing Irrationality If "Cyberspace" REALLY eliminated irrationality, this page would not exist!
• Weekly World News Index The Official Newspapers of Wackos